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Who am I fooling but myself?
So many secrets inside made you commit my suicide
Hollow me out inside
Give me a new name
But my ugly side will never leave
But I forgot, that whole side is ME

I handfed you all those lies
Now they torture you deep inside
I want to take it back
This face inside that stays intact

You realized my beauty faded
Forced you to see how you've been jaded
Empty, hollow is all i am
I can't feel your pain
I don't even care there's nothing to gain

I'm ugly, I'm a whore
Let's just not pretend anymore
I raped your love I know
Broke you down without a word
Took your heart and made it cold
Made my sex into something that's sold

Why don't you hate me?
I don't understand
I hurt you so much
But here you still stand

You should cut me up
Hurt me now, so I'll understand how it felt
I hate the pain I see in your eyes
And that face you give me, when you remember the lies

Let me take it all back
And put it all inside my chest
Right beside all the rest...
:icongoddessoffright:

Author's Comments

yeah so i made this for my one and only true love...
i really want to make it all go away
im such a fucking whore i know
just let me make it better...
just let me make it better...

Comments


love 2 2 joy 2 2 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconpermisane:
aww, bethy what happened?

--
Hello my Freaky Darlings!
BRITISH ZOMBIES!!! [link]
Join the Fight Against the Undead! Join Now! [link]
:icongoddessoffright:
nothing really just was unhappy
but im ok now
i just dyed my hair pink lol its awesome
but i kinda made my mom mad just now but idc
hows college?
you need to send me your address so i can send you something
not sure what im going to send you yet but i'll figure it out when i see it lol it will be somehting awesome from goodwill.
goodwill flipping rocks

--
I'll Be Your Lover
I'll Be Forever
I'll Be Tomorrow
I'll Be Anything When I'm High...
:iconpermisane:
i know..send stuff to
alisha Bartrum
615 First Ave.
Mail box 519
Pittsburgh, PA 15219


College is great, lots of fun with lots of hot guys. Omg, send me a picture of your hair!
dont ahve to send me anything! you still going to college?

--
Hello my Freaky Darlings!
BRITISH ZOMBIES!!! [link]
Join the Fight Against the Undead! Join Now! [link]
:icongoddessoffright:
glad you like college i really need to come down and see ya. sry i missed ur party tho. i had to work and that was just shitty they wouldn't lemme off. but yeah i got some shit for ya lol you'll love it whenever i find the perfect thing. thanks for the address. keep me updated on ur college life! ooo and yeah this was funny at my work we ffound this application somewhere and i looked at the name and i couldn't even read it then it said he was egyptian so i was like damn alisha would love to hop on to that shit lol and i so wanted to bust a joke but i then realized that you and ray wasnt there and i was at work with people who sadly donno about the egyptian man lol it sucks when that shit happens. ok yeah write me back NIGGAAHHHHHH

--
I'll Be Your Lover
I'll Be Forever
I'll Be Tomorrow
I'll Be Anything When I'm High...
:iconpermisane:
sure, come on down and party with me. just got back from clubbing with some guys and my roomies. lol.. some latin guy grabbed my ass and winjed when i turned around! So hott!Dont worry, didnot have one, mom and dad pulled that away just before i left. so yeah. hey! shuddup! I would not hop on that....well unless he was hott. IMG..there is this huy down here who is so fricking hott, and so smart! Im in love.

Anyway..i miss you guys an raymond. sending you all ma lovin!

--
Hello my Freaky Darlings!
BRITISH ZOMBIES!!! [link]
Join the Fight Against the Undead! Join Now! [link]
:icongoddessoffright:
Awesome no more egyptian man! lol but now it's latin? wow haha you SURE made a step up lol just kidding

sounds like you are the fucking life of the partayyy hahaha man clubbing sounds awesome i really miss you!

man college will suck for me. i dnt want it to start! one more week and a half! damn my summer flew fucking by like you have no idea lol it feels like 10 mins ago that i was at school with you and ray in study hall us tlking about random shit. it was awesome how me and ray got to sit together everyday though we were bad as fuck! lol but yeah man i so love being an adult but i hate paying all the bills and shit gettng fucked up lol.

give me more updates!!! LOL sounds like you're loving life!
how are your classes? tell me more about this guy you met lolmanyou will so be famous one day and i willl get your autograph and then sell it on ebay! WWOOOO!!!!

--
I'll Be Your Lover
I'll Be Forever
I'll Be Tomorrow
I'll Be Anything When I'm High...
:iconpermisane:
nope...plus hes getting married to some whore. lol. no way..not hitting that. its english now...and i mean VERY english.

Not at all, just living it up! I know bethy, you would love it. hey, ill be back in sept!

naw it wont. trust me...it rocks if you want it too! Hey, i only had a month! no complaining! i know..adulthood rocks but sucks...eh. all we have to do is wait for zombie apocalypse, and were free! cept for the brain eating dead of course...slight problem there.

i know, Raymond is going MIT..you hear about that! knew that fucking brain of his would come in handy for something other than thinking up new ways to make a bong..lol

nothing new...im just having fun and getting my classes done. oh, i totally tapped an english foreign exchange student, who was 9 inches flat, and a VIRGIN! (can you beleive that shit?)other than that nothing much going on here.....miss you lots!

--
Hello my Freaky Darlings!
BRITISH ZOMBIES!!! [link]
Join the Fight Against the Undead! Join Now! [link]
:icongoddessoffright:
damn intrernet exploreer i wrote you stuff then it disapeers so i have to write it alllllll over again!!!!! GRRR

and yeah i did not kno about ray i seen him the other day he said he was going into the airforce AND I HEARD YOU LIKE HIM?!! HAHAHAH OMFG I SING YOU A SONNNGG

ALISHA AND RAYMOND SITTING IN A TREE K...I...S...S...I...N...G!!
FIRST COMES LOVE THEN COMES MARRIGE THEN COMES A BABY RAY AND ALISHA IN A BABY CARRIAGE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

ok im done now lol heheh i love you alisha :)

btw i got you something coool and weird. his name is jeffree and you shall get him in the mail soon when i have the time to send it lol take good care of him hes really different thats for sure idk i couldnt figure out what to do with him till i thought y not give him to alisha!! HAHA lol

ok so yeah ASHLEY AND RAY DATINg? everyone keeps me out of all the cool drama now damn! and i hear shes got pics of me all over her room? lol lil creepy but then again idk lol hope she dnt masterbate to them aahahaha i could see that hahaha lol weird shit weird shit lol

and damn how did you land a NINE INCHER and THEM BEING A VIRGIN?! thats crazy shit damn! lol was he good?

and well now i really do like college cuz i can do whaatever i really love the feeling i can don NETHING i can even SMOKE in the PARKING LOT HAHAHA its KIK ASS IM EXCITIED lol i think i chose my majjor i want to majjor in psychology hell the crazy of us are psychologists lol i think it would be an intereesting job hgeard you have to go to school for 8 years but its so worth it you make a shit load of fucking money man. and well i think its really interesting shit. i been taking a lot of notes and i think i will write some cool ass papers im going to write one about thsoe necrophila people they are weird and interesting and part of history and cults its crazy shit maybe even a paper about that manson dude whatever his first name waas him and his "followers"

and woot back in sept? damn how long? i shall come to see youuuu when you come back

[[u kno i could seriously see you and ray getting together and getting married never said that but you too are perfect for each other just like me and beaver are perfect for each other cuz his weiner is perfect you kno the one you seen on my phone hahahaahahahahahahahahahahah bad IMAGE AHAHAH]]

and hows michelle you heard from her at all? she still dating hoff and getting harrassed by steffan?

--
I'll Be Your Lover
I'll Be Forever
I'll Be Tomorrow
I'll Be Anything When I'm High...
:iconpermisane:
ahhhh! no! who said i liked him! do not!

lol..i will love jeffree, as long as he is not a dildo or something weird. lol

i knew it. bethy is going to make money off a nutters! fucking great! i could see you with a degree in that, lol. you HAVE to be crazy to do that.

i KNOW..those two dating is weird. but she has had a crush on him for a WHILE now. eh...lets see where this goes.

lol..i know. lucky huh? i found him at the library, reading hellboy. we started talking, then we got into a heated argument over some philospher (you know what arguing does to me XD)and i kissed him...full on french. i stopped myself and got embarrassed, but he fucking grabbed me and started making out with me, so i went along for the ride! and one hell of a ride it was! lol...i didnt even know he was a virgin till after we were done. he was leaning against the wall, and i was trying to catch my breath. and he said he had something to tell me.i thought maybe he forgot a condom..or that he has something bad i could catch..eww. but his face got all red, and he said it was his first time. me being miss sensitive, i laughed, even fell off the fucking bed! lol..so he went and grabbed a shower, and i went in and yeah....like five or six times later he actually left.

but he had to go home, it was his last quarter here, and i said kay. then like...days later, he fucking emails me, and we have been talking ever since. plus in march he has a few things to do here in the states and is going to make a pit stop to see me again..
im so fucking lucky!
lol.i know college is great! my englisgh teacher swears like a sailor, he is so awesome!

dont mention smoke,,havent had a cigarette in FOREVER!

lol..ewww. me and raymond? NEVER! and dont remind me about that picture! AHHHHH!

havent heard from her, all i know is that hoff is being stalked by eli at college. other than that nothing from anybody really.

oh..im probably coming home laborday weekend.

--
Hello my Freaky Darlings!
BRITISH ZOMBIES!!! [link]
Join the Fight Against the Undead! Join Now! [link]

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